From Japan With Love
by SanteeLegs
Summary: USUK Secret Santa 2010 Prompt is: "America is hanging out with some other country an awful lot lately, and England decides to employ his master espionage skills to find out why. Any country is fine."


For the USUK Secret Santa 2011. Recipient is sayasama.

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><p>England tapped his fingers on the conference table, thoroughly unamused at the incessant and barely audible whispering happening across from him.<em>Bloody git, why did you have to switch seats? Not that I care, just curious<em>, he thought as he stared at the nation in mention, America, and Japan, still whispering excitedly. He glanced at the chair America usually occupied; it now contained an irritated South Korea, mumbling something about "aniki".

Now, England didn't truly care that America switched seats (the seat that's right next to _him_) with the Korean. He didn't, really, he was just curious, like anyone would be. They've spoken to each other several times before. It's just this time they're being secretive about it and he's interested.

Sooner than England could get even more annoyed and tell the other two to shush, the meeting ended. He realized he had been making up stories about what they could have been speaking about and hadn't taken a single note. He shook his head and snorted.

Just as he was gathering his belongings, he remembered that he was invited to go out to eat with the American. Grumbling, he grabbed his things and walked over to the whispering nations. They immediately stopped mumbling to each other when he made himself known.

"Oi, America! You invited me to go get something to eat; I'd assume that you'd be coming along as well?" he asked, giving a small nod to the Asian nation in greeting when their eyes met.

The American froze mid-word, blinked then brightened in realization, "Oh! Haha, right! I just made plans with Japan, though. How about a rain check?" he grinned.

Both the English-speaking nations looked to Japan, who fidgeted and seemed distressed, "U-Um, Amerika-san, if you had previous plans with Igirisu-san, it would be fine to postpone our plans for another time."

America slapped Japan on the back, which nearly knocked the poor nation to his knees, and laughed. "Haha, don't worry about it Japan! I want to hang out with you, so it's fine! It's okay, right England? Right?"

"Ah—yes, that's fine, I suppose. But honestly America, how rude," England huffed and crossed his arms. It's not like he wanted to eat with him anyway, even though his company was better than none. Not that he'd admit that. "What about—"

"Okay, cool! I'll make it up to ya eventually, promise!" America interrupted, completely ignoring the insult and tugging at Japan's arm. "C'mon Japan! Let's go!" Before either of the island nations could say their goodbyes, America and his victim were gone and England was left alone once again.

_Well, that was peculiar, _he thought, squinting into the space where the two nations were once standing. _They left awfully quickly… what _was_ that they were whispering about? They seemed very secretive._ He gasped, _what if they were planning some attack? _He shook his head; he started to sound like America with all his paranoia. _Bollocks, they were probably talking nonsense… however, it couldn't hurt to find out, right?_

A loud, extremely _Italian_ voice startled him out of his thoughts, "HEY, Scone Breath! If you're done with making all those stupid faces with your stupid eyebrows, I'd like it if you'd move out of the damn doorway!"

The Briton turned and faced the southern half of Italy, who wore his usual frown. His eyes flashed in anger. "Oh, pardon me," England apologized with fake politeness, moved out of the threshold and nodded minutely. The Italian strut through the doorway, mumbling a quiet "_grazie"_ that wasn't meant to be heard.

…Anyway, rambling thoughts and irritated Italians aside, his previous idea of finding out what the bloody hell was going on with America and Japan seemed like a great idea to kill some time… and to find out if they were plotting anything. Of course. They were… friends, right? It's fine, it's fine. It's for their own good.

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><p>Later that week, after some prodding of the nonexistent MI6 organization, he was ready for spy—er, finding out what they were planning. No one was better than finding out what people were planning than England.<p>

Currently, he was sneaking into Japan's house in order to listen in on a meeting that he overheard the two arrange previously. He walked carefully and listened intently, taking full, quiet steps. He stayed low, below eye-level. At one point, a certain theme from a certain series of movies about a British spy starting playing in his head. He shook his head with a silent curse; he must stay focused! His ears picked up on one of the American's whoops, followed by Japan shushing him politely. He froze. Curiouser and curiouser.

As he got closer to the room, he heard some background noise; noise that didn't fit the cozy Japanese man's home. He stepped around a corner and was next to the old shoji doors of one of several sitting rooms. He listened. Those were… gunshots? And yelling? Much too quiet to be real, however.

"Man Japan! I'm so glad you let me come over today!" America commented after more muffled gunfire and yelling.

"My pleasure, Amerika-san." Clicking noises and someone shifting.

"No, really! This is _awesome_. I could never ask England to do this with me! I'm having _so much fun!_"

England's heart sank. Whatever they were doing together was more fun than anything _they_ could do together? Well, he wasn't the poster child for "fun" but… still. Erm, it doesn't matter. He shook his head and tried to keep listening but all the sound now was just more gunfire, clicking of something and yelling. He decided to leave with his heart in his shoes.

After a day filled with furious amounts of self-help embroidery, England decided to try listening in again; only using a different technique. MI6 tweaked the Felix Lighter so he could hear happenings in the house while he was safe in his car. He pulled out the cigarette lighter and turned the bottom until he picked up the correct frequency. It was just a bit jumpy, but it'll have to do.

"_J-Japan, will it… be okay?"_

"_Hai, Amerika-san- *KRSH* -It will feel very good."_

"_I-If you say so… You'll stop if I say so, right?"_

"_Of course, Amerika-san- *KRRRSHT*"_

At this moment, England wondered if he truly wanted to know what was going on between these two. He heard some cloth shifting and a long, drawn out sigh.

"_Okay… I'm- *KRSHT* -ready."_

More cloth shifting, _"Hai, then I shall begin."_

A pause. England held his breath.

"_Ahhh~"_

England's face bloomed red and he slapped a hand over his eyes, as if to prevent himself from hearing what was happening.

"_Is it good- *KRRRSH* Amerika-san~?"_

"_Y-Yeah… AH! Nnnnn~"_

After that pleasure-filled moan, England shifted down in his seat. Wh-What—_This_ is what these two were doing? So… vulgar! So…

"_H-Hey, ahhnn, Japan…?"_

"_Hmm?- *KRRSHT*"_ There was a smile behind that hum.

"_H-Harder… it feels goo—AHN~!"_

Japan chuckled and England clicked it off, his face beet-red. H-He shouldn't be listening to such an i-intimate moment. It's not like he cared what these two do in th-that way, anyway. After strapping himself in, he set off back home, trying his very hardest to get the image engraved in his mind to disappear.

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><p>England was pointedly <em>ignoring<em> the two previously mentioned nations during the next meeting. Soon, though, he got annoyed and even more curious when they began whispering to each other again. The meeting ended and he was fed up. He stood up suddenly and slammed his hands on the table, "I'm tired of it!"

America and Japan stopped mumbling and stared at him with wide eyes; they stood up confrontationally. "Uh? England? What are you talking about?" the American asked, tilting his head a little. Japan looked between the both of them nervously, thoroughly confused.

The Briton walked around the conference table to stand in front of the two with hands on his hips, "I'm _tired_ of all this secretive mumbling!"

He glared at the black-haired nation, who shrunk back behind America a bit. "I am sorry!" he said quickly and scuttled away before anything else could be said. England sighed and rounded on America.

America still looked confused as he was poked in the chest, "_What_ in the world could you two be doing that needs to remain such a big secret?" He pushed _that thought_ out of his mind, the thought of Japan plea—anyway.

"Huh? Secret?" the American tilted his head further, placing fingers against his chin in thought. "You mean when we were whispering? That's cuz we didn't want to interrupt the meeting!"

England nearly facepalmed, "You couldn't wait until after the meeting?"

"Nope! It's pretty important!"

"What, pray tell, could be _important _enough—"_For you to avoid me_, his mind supplied, "—to talk about in the middle of a meeting?"

America had the nerve to look a bit bashful as he dug around in his jacket pocket, pulling out a worn piece of paper folded into fours and handed it to England. He grabbed it and unfolded it, looking at the two opposite images printed on the paper. The ink was blurred where the folded lines intersected in the middle but it did not disturb the separate black and white winged… creatures in what looked like to be a printout. He recognized a symbol towards the Japanese words at the bottom. "Don't tell me... this is—"

The American interrupted and began to ramble, "Mhm! Pokémon! Black and White, actually. It's coming out at my place in like, April, but I really, _really_want it right now! So I've been hanging out with Japan cuz I was getting a bunch of hints and stuff about what the game is about! I've been tryin' to get him to give the actual game to me but you know how he is about his games." He shrugged.

England just stared at the two creatures mocking him about how he jumped to conclusions so quickly without any real proof. He exploded, "POKéMON! You—I—What about when you said I'm not fun? Or… or the _moaning_?" He flushed. Oops, he just sort of admitted that he was spying on them.

"Hmm? How'd you know that?" England didn't answer but America continued anyway, "Dude, I was playing a shooting game with Japan when I said that. You always said you hated video games and stuff. I just meant that I can't play games with you… and stuff." He shrugged again. "And moaning?" He paused and thought back, gazing at a point above the Briton's head with squinted eyes. "Oh! You mean when Japan was giving me a massage?"

"Massage?" England parroted. When he thought about it, it made plenty sense. 'It feels good' and 'harder'… uh, he was thinking about it again.

"Yeah. You know those massages where a woman holds onto a pole and walks on your back? That's what it was," America was giving him a confused look. "What's with all the questions, anyway?" A long pause; you could almost hear the cogs turning in his brain. "Oh. Ohhh! I get it! You were _jealous_!"

England looked like an insulted bird and squawked, "What? Why in seven hells would I be jealous?"

America leaned in and grinned, "Well, you wouldn't care what I was doing otherwise as long as I told _you_ about it. You were jealous of Japan!" He laughed.

The other man leaned out of the American's space and flushed, "No! I wasn't! I was just… curious is all!" America gave him a look that said 'yeah right, and I'm not a hero'. Damn. He was doing that sparkly, annoying 'I know you, England' thing. "I was just wondering, I said! Nothing more!"

"Uh huh, sure. Whatever. Anyway. I said I'd make up that day I blew you off." England tried not to choke at that phrasing; America didn't notice and kept talking, "So I thought we'd go today! How 'bout it?"

England sighed and was somewhat glad that the subject was dropped. He was never more grateful for the glutton's eating habits than at that very moment, despite wondering _why_ the subject was dropped so quickly. "Fine, fine. McDonald's I assume?"

"You assumed right! Haha! Let's go, I'm hungry!" He grabbed England's arm and dragged him out of the room regardless of the protests coming from the man that continued until they were out of the building.

The conference room was dead silent for a moment before a slim man garbed in black fell from the ceiling and landed on the carpeted floor with a quiet_thump_. He hummed and removed the cloth from his face, revealing his dark, slanted eyes. "It seems my plan didn't go as well as I hoped," he said to himself. "However, these events have started a chain reaction for the two," he smiled, "Perhaps Amerika-san and Igirisu-san will realize what others can already see."

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><p><p>

**Notes:**

MI6: MI6? What MI6?  
>Certain theme: I'm sure you know…<br>Felix Lighter: From the Bond wikia: _"Radio transmitter/receiver disguised as a car cigarette lighter installed in a CIA vehicle, which Bond uses to contact his friend, Felix Leiter."  
><em>Pokémon: Yes. Pokémon. America totally would


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